I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
