who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
