These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
The power of my boobs compel you
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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