If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
