ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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