I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
