the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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