Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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