i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
