Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
