I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
