we should wear snuggies to the strip club
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
