it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
