i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
even my farts smell like vagina
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
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