The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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