This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
