either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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