So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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