put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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