So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
