If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
