After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
