is wine microwaveable?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
