How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
