just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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