we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Randomize
