dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
