come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
