I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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