i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
