Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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