Can Purell be used as lube?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
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