New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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