Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
