i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Randomize
