Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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