the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
