okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
