addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
