Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I just saw a hot homeless man
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
