i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
