she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Why did my mother make you get naked?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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