Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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