So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
They should really pass out barf bags in church
is wine microwaveable?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
