i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
