The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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