I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
i now understand why vodka
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