first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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