time to smoke my breakfast
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
