Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
